For God’s Sake, Stop Making “Pinnochio” Movies

The fourth and final Pinocchio film is Pinocchio and the water of lifeand I couldn’t even try to make you believe that I found a single thing in the poster that wasn’t an absolute nightmare.

This one also features Tom Benigni Kenny, this time doing Pinnochio’s voice. I wonder if he’s about to learn a hard lesson.

Boy, the Pinocchio name seems really doomed – when it comes to movies, of course. Because there’s yet another Pinocchio-inspired property coming out, but one who shows real promise.

I’m talking about P lies, a character-driven Victorian tale that seemingly cuts out all the tired plot and tries to go its own way. It looks good because there is a clear transmitted by blood feel it, of course, but it really does seem like there could be more.

Another thing he does well is honesty. It completely drops the pretense that Pinocchio hasn’t been a complete horror story the whole time. We hope it succeeds, leading to a Battle Royale game where this Pinocchio takes on all the others, Highlander puppet style.

Top image: NEOWIZ

Related: BREAKING: Robin Williams Proves He’s Wholesome as Heck Once Again in ’90s “Sesame Street” Blooper Reel

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